The testosterone industry globally is booming

Illustration: Simon Bosch

It may come as something of a surprise to discover that, by a considerable margin, Germany is the penis enlargement capital of the world. One in five of all of those delicate operations takes place in that land of bratwurst, long socks and Angela Merkel. I will leave it to you to reason why.

You can also make what you will of the fact that Australia did not even come in the top ten. It certainly doesnt mean, for example, that our men are not vain.

The steroid black market here is flourishing, and we are among the greatest consumers of testosterone in the world.

Yes, testosterone. Across the nation, men are jabbing themselves with needles, wiping on gels, sticking on patches, or having implants inserted under their skin, in order to look better, feel younger and beat what is now being called the manopause.

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Curiously it is Australias mining states - Western Australia and Queensland - that consume the most testosterone.

In the land of cliches, a decade ago, a mans mid-life crisis meant a shiny red sports car and a pneumatic blonde. Today, its extreme diets, single-digit body fat, hordes of MAMILs (middle-aged men in lycra) on bicycles, gym selfies of sucked-in stomachs and a several-billion-dollar global industry in testosterone.

So what is manopause? Some relate it to a mid-age natural decline in testosterone production called andropause which leads to weight gain and libido loss.

Lisa Friedman Bloch and Kathy Kirtland Silverman, the authors of Manopause,define it as: "a powerful force that hits men between the ages of 40 and 65, as declining testosterone collides head on with the cultural pressures men feel pressures like having to 'man up', to be strong, powerful, even invulnerable, to hide emotion, and to always be able to perform sexually.

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The testosterone industry globally is booming

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