Cannon: It’s official: Testosterone can kill you

Did you hear about the latest research that says women like me die sooner than women not like me? And by "like me" I mean women who have only sons?

Thats right. Hey, thanks for the happy 411, Samuli Helle of the University of Turku in Finland!

Helle and his team of crack research assistants posit several theories to explain their recent discovery. One of them involves testosterone. Apparently women who are pregnant with boys have more of it floating around in their systems than women who are pregnant with girls. And, as we all know, testosterone can kill you. For example:

Testosterone makes you ride a long board from the top to the bottom of First South. In the middle of the night.

Testosterone makes you flip off the guy in the pickup with a gun rack who just cut in front of you.

Testosterone makes you call out the opposing teams fan, even though dude is twice as big as you are.

Testosterone makes you bury the needle on an open stretch of road. Like, from here to Wendover, for example.

Testosterone makes you test the combustibility of various household cleaning products in the downstairs bathroom.

Testosterone makes you and your friends construct "jumps"ski jumps, bicycle jumps, skateboard jumps.

Testosterone makes you and your friends go off those jumps.

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Cannon: It’s official: Testosterone can kill you

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